Quittersday, or the day our New Year's resolutions end.

According to an article by Sylvie Rühmann, the second Friday in January is symbolically declared Quitters' Day, when the majority of good New Year's resolutions are thrown overboard again.

Why might that be? As with many questions, there is no single explanation.

Perhaps our goals are set too high, too ideal, too many at the same time. Perhaps we disregard our relationship dynamics, our social and professional context or we simply don't want to accept ourselves as we are and as our possibilities allow us to be.

It's amazing that some people always start the new year with the same expectations (losing weight, healthy eating, fitness, less online, more culture ...) A sure way to confirm early in the year that you haven't made it again. This is the dynamic of a counter-script (unsuccessful attempt to adapt) that will fail because we cannot maintain control over ourselves in the long term.

Then there are the idealised wishes such as a new super job, great people...and soon you find yourself in conflicts, unexpected obstacles. A contradiction arises between reality and aspiration, which turns us into disappointed, angry, frustrated people.

Or you can avoid any claim to development by not taking on anything at all. That is certainly one way to behave. The disadvantage is that you risk a lack of strokes. Someone who doesn't care about anything is easily overlooked.

Because: our curiosity, creativity and self-efficacy want to develop.

What can I recommend to you?

Visualise your desires and the qualities that are good for you. Feel inside yourself. Turn one of these images into a goal and define this goal in several measurable steps. Give yourself credit for every step you have taken towards your goal, no matter how small.

Change means practising, trying out and repeating. Small stages increase your sense of achievement, from which you gain vital and creative energy for your goal and your vision.

Another good option is to visualise yourself swinging towards your goal. You swing into your vision of the future and fall back into the past. This swinging back and forth is a different frame of reference that excludes failure. You know it from swinging. At some point you arrive in a state of the present.

Or you can do it like this: you set yourself a goal when you really feel it and want it. It doesn't have to be the beginning of the year, but the moment when you are ready for your development.