Why is it that, at times, within teams and business, we behave like strict parents or rebellious children?

Transactional Analysis offers us an extraordinary framework for understanding team dynamics. Conflicts often arise not from ‘what’ we say, but from the ‘Ego State’ from which we speak.

If we adopt a parental attitude, this is expressed through our gestures, gaze and tone of voice. Underlying this are phrases such as “you should, you must, I know better” and moral judgements. The other person’s inner child feels provoked and reacts emotionally or in an overly accommodating manner. The intensity of the emotions and the body language make all this clearly perceptible. This dynamic arises on both sides.

This is how conflicts and mind games begin. It is no longer about the issue itself, but about feelings and old behavioural patterns.

The only way out is to consciously activate the adult self. This represents a neutral perception of the situation. Information is listened to and taken on board, one’s own opinion is weighed up, and solutions and decisions are sought.

When we shift from ‘Parent-Child’ to ‘Adult-Adult’ communication, productivity increases and stress decreases dramatically.

My work as a business coach is precisely this: helping leaders and team members recognise these patterns in order to build healthy, transparent and, above all, effective.