Hungry for strokes and affection? Yes. And you?

Strokes (transactional analysis term) as a need to be seen, recognised and appreciated, to be treated kindly and lovingly.

Hungry for the feeling of simply being loved for who I am.

I have observed that this hunger is being pushed further and further into the shadows. We have become embarrassed to admit these basic needs, let alone express them.

Instead, we make an effort to get attention indirectly through performance or through outward appearances that adorn us in the expectation of being particularly attractive. We add up contacts and likes and symbolic things of all kinds. We also compensate with food.

We want to be better, faster, cooler, fitter, adapt to expectations and yet want to be special and compete for attention.

And are we getting satisfied through these strategies?

Rather no, because the hunger remains as long as we don't know what can really satisfy it.

The less full we feel, the more critical and ‘stingy’ we become towards ourselves and others. Our trust in ourselves and others becomes more fragile.

This sets off a spiral that drives us into detachment and all kinds of psychological games.

Let's stop this, because it won't do us any good.

Instead, let's reverse the dynamic and trust ourselves and our needs to show us the way.

What do you like about yourself?

Start with strokes for yourself and share them with others.

This is how we approach our true hunger and the chance to satisfy it.

Being full feels wonderful. It doesn't take much.

We need ourselves as our own source and we need people with whom we can share what is really valuable to us.

Just like the children in this picture, who are close to each other, touching, hugging, sharing food and emotions.

‘Arpilleristas’ is the work of an unknown Chilean artist, lovingly crafted from fabrics and threads, which I discovered at the Biennale d'Arte in Venice 2024 and which inspired me to write this article. Thanks to her.