Lying - a power game

Because lies are told or realities are denied all around us, we increasingly take lies for granted.

lies as a natural part of our lives. We only pay attention to the truth in very special situations and relationships.

Does that worry you too?

It worries me that lying has become the norm and that we usually assume that election promises, political statements, social media or marketing are based on it. People like Tr..p and M..k with their media contribute to their acceptance.

Claude Steiner, psychotherapist and transactional analyst, has researched the meaning of lies and placed them in the context of power plays. (See Power without exploitation)

According to Steiner, lies are one of the most effective instruments of control. We no longer abide by the commandment of truth as soon as we have become superior to the other person. Dishonesty towards weaker people is usually justified by the fact that they are ‘not yet ready’ (intelligent, knowledgeable, old enough...) to understand or deal with the truth.

Allegedly, the truth could hurt or is too complicated. These are typical forms of devaluation in relationships and this is how power games develop.

Politicians behave in the same way towards voters, managers towards employees, influencers towards followers and parents towards children.

Omitting or denying truths are also ultimately lies, as are half-truths, where something is knowingly concealed to put us in a better light.

Most of us live in a world of deceptions, half-truths and so-called ‘white’ lies.

And yet: openly calling someone a liar is considered a serious insult or offence.

Do you also know situations in which you prefer to believe a lie for the sake of general harmony or ‘swallow’ it because it seems so much easier?

There have always been power plays with lies, but what worries me so much today is the explosion of fake news at an unprecedented speed and quantity, which will be further intensified by AI.

It scares me to think that in future I will no longer be able to tell reality from fake. This applies to the manipulation of content, videos and images.

What does the loss of a certain truth do to us?

It destabilises us, puts us under psychological strain, stresses us out, distances us from each other, strains relationships, makes us suspicious and insecure, encourages withdrawal, passivity and cynicism.

It turns us into seducers and seduced and all of us into inwardly empty power players.

If we don't want to risk this, then we start with the truth ourselves, then we join forces with others, promote trust and ask questions, again and again, and carefully scrutinise the answers.

Are you with us?